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After the kids went to bed tonight, I tossed together some almond flour berry muffins.  The recipe is from Elana Amsterdam’s (of Elana’s Pantry) wonderful paleo book, The Gluten-Free Almond Flour Cookbook.  I doubled and modified her delicious Chocolate Chip Banana Cake recipe to omit the honey, and used frozen mixed berries instead of chocolate chips.

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Banana-Berry Muffins

INGREDIENTSMuffin Close up

  • 3 c. blanched almond flour
  • 1/2 t. sea salt
  • 1 t. baking soda
  • 1/4 c. coconut oil, melted
  • 3 large eggs
  • 1 T. vanilla extract
  • 1 c. frozen mixed berries
  • 1/2 c. (about 1-2) ripe bananas, mashed

DIRECTIONS

  1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.  Arrange silicone muffin liners on a baking sheet.
  2. In a large bowl, combine the almond flour, sea salt, and baking soda.
  3. In a medium bowl, whisk together the liquid coconut oil, eggs, bananas, and vanilla extract.
  4. Stir the wet ingredients into the almond flour mixture until thoroughly combined.
  5. Fold in the mixed berries and fill each muffin liner about 2/3 full.
  6. Bake for 20-25 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into a muffin comes out clean.

After I was done making the kids’ lunches, I made mine.  I had some leftover celery sticks that didn’t fit in their lunches, so I put them in a container to take to work.  I decided I wanted some ranch dressing to dip it in.  While humming Rubber Ducky, I pondered my day and set about gathering ingredients.

Mid-hum, I realized that I’d assembled these ingredients, mindlessly and effortlessly, within seconds:

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Without a recipe, without looking anything up in a book, just … experience, in my fingertips.  Holy cow.  I think I might be getting the hang of this real food thing.  Within another couple of minutes, I had this:

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A few whips later and I had my celery dip:

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So Monday started out being a full-on pain in the ass, but after leaving work and as the evening wore on, I had a pretty awesome Monday.

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We didn’t have much planned this weekend, and that’s such a nice change.  Just us.

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Daddy and his girls.

 

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Hanging out.

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Making fairy shelters.

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Paleo “Cream of Wheat”.

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Making crispy almonds (soaked and dehydrated).

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Pig ‘n Egg Baskets.

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Pig ‘n Egg Baskets with cheese added on top.

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Yummm.

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Jessica and I made a triple batch of almond flour banana chocolate chip muffins because I had a ton of overripe bananas.

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Our friends Dennis and Ann’s roguish flock of seven Toms, who had been rounded up and coralled for processing.

As I contemplated the Coleman cooler sitting in my kitchen, I felt … intimidated.  It wasn’t the two turkeys I’d recently helped butcher, or the bloody gallon-sized Ziploc stuffed full of necks and giblets.  It was the 14 gray, disembodied, eerily reptilian turkey feet sitting on top.

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I was also giddy with excitement.  As most of you know, I’m deeply into the subject of nutrition and am always seeking to know what’s in my food down to the micronutrient level.  I love knowing where my food is from, who grew it, how it lived, and how it died.  While not “fun” (well, ok, it was so tremendously interesting that it tread awfully close to “fun”), participating in the slaughtering and butchering process of seven turkeys was immensely satisfying.  I knew these animals from when they were tiny fuzzballs, and had held and petted them.  They had been treated VERY well while they lived.  They were killed humanely, with as little fear as is possible to impose on an animal.  As they died, I sent up a prayer of gratitude for the lives that were taken in order to nourish my own.  I think these moments of gratitude are crucial to being an eater of animal flesh; they are what keep us human, connected both to the mortal life cycle and each other.  This connection is what’s missing for the overwhelming majority of the U.S., who have been systematically distanced from their food animals by companies interested only in selling us shiny packaging and sanitized, faceless, bloodless “meat”.  I, on the other hand, played a quiet little game in the gut pile of “guess what THIS body part is” with myself.  (For the record, esophaguses look and feel like long, rubbery, banded smoothie straws, and the wobbly purse-shaped thing at the end of it is NOT the “gobbler”, as I discovered later when I Googled it.  It’s a sphincter, and it serves to keep food and drink down once it’s swallowed.  So we have sphincters at both ends to keep the food in.  How about that for a Thursday Fun Fact?)

I have lots more to say on this subject, but I digress.  Back to those crazy feet.

If you’ve made it this far, you must either know why a person would be playing with turkey feet, or wondering why the hell anybody would be playing with turkey feet.  Nutrition, of course!

A summary of the benefits of bone broth:

Promotes healing: Bone broths have been used successfully in treating gastro-intestinal disorders, including hyper-acidity, colitis, Crohn’s disease, and infant diarrhea.

Digestive aid: Aids in the digestibility of grains, beans, legumes, vegetables and meats and is hydrophilic in nature

Macro minerals: Contains highly absorbable forms of the calcium, magnesium, potassium, phosphorus, sulfur and fluoride as well as trace minerals

Gelatin and Collagen: rich in both; promoting bone and joint healing in addition to supporting digestion, particularly broths made from the feet of chickens (and turkeys)

Protein: adds easily digestible protein to your diet

Amino acids: Glycine, proline, hydroxyproline, and lysine are formed, which is important to detoxification and amino acid production in the body

Joint support: Glucosamine, chondroitin sulfate, and hyaluronic acid are produced and present for additional muscle and joint support

Immune system: Promotes the assimilation of vitamins and minerals and thus supports the immune system

Delicious and nutritious: use as soup, cooking liquid, sauce or as a tea.

From Lance Roll, CEC, HLC1,  The Flavor Chef

And, according to Jenny, at Nourished Kitchen:  ”Chicken feet [and turkey feet] produce a fine golden broth that’s rich in all the obscure nutrients that make a good stock so nourishing: glucosamine chondroitin, collagen and trace minerals.   Moreover, a chicken stock is an excellent source of calcium.   Understandably, a stock made from chicken feet gels beautifully just as a good stock should.”

So there you have it.  Cheap (or in this case, free), bursting with easily absorbed nutrition, and freaky-deaky as HELL.  Who could resist, I ask you?  Not I!

With the feet of any fowl (and this may already have been done for you if you’re buying them packaged from the market), you need to get the leathery outer layer off.  It’s full of stuff that the birds step in all day.  Nobody wants THAT soup when it’s done, and who knows if you’d ever get the boiled bird-crap stench out of your curtains?

What you’ll need:

  • A large pot with salted water for boiling the feet
  • A large bowl filled with ice water
  • Tongs
  • A small sharp knife
  • A large sharp knife
  • Pliers
  • Cutting board
  • Receptacle for discarded skin n’ bits
  • Receptacle for cleaned fowl feet

Here’s how I set up my kitchen before I started.  (Ignore the scissors; one of the girls left them on the counter and I didn’t see them in time to get them out of the picture.)

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Directions:

Make sure your salted water is boiling hard.

Drop a bird foot into the boiling water and let it boil for just one minute, no more, no less.

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Pluck it out of the water with the tongs and immerse it fully into the ice water, and swish it around for about 10 seconds.

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Using the large knife, get any feathers or other undesirables cut off the leg end of the foot.

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Switch to the small knife and use it to slit the skin, which helps to get you started on peeling it.

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Start peeling the skin off.  If you’re doing it wrong, you’ll be peeling up the underlying leg cartilage and it’ll bleed, believe it or not.  If you’re doing it right, peeling the outer skin will leave a perfect pink replica of itself underneath.  Kinda like a macabre jello mold.

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When you get to the spur, use the pliers to firmly grasp the hard nail of the spur and wiggle it.  The outer shell should pop right off, leaving the shiny whitish-pink claw exposed.

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Keep working your way up the toes.  I found that after peeling the skin off the “palm” or “frog” of the foot, I could then put my fingers between the toes and keep pulling the skin sheaths off the toes, like turning gloves inside-out. I read several sources that said to chop off the talons at the first knuckle, but I found that the hard outer shell just came right off with the skin, and there’s no sense in wasting the underlying claws since they have all the same nutrients as the rest of it.

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When you get to a claw, use the pliers again to get a firm grasp on it.  Wiggle it and pull at the same time.  It should pop off, just like the spur did, leaving the shiny pink claw exposed.

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When you’re done with skinning it, start the next one.  I didn’t overlap this process much because I read that if you boiled it too long, the skin fused to the leg and you couldn’t get it off.  The horror.

When you’re done with the feet, you might have a lovely pitcher full, like I did.

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And your child may think it’s funny to grab a couple and menace you with them, like mine did.  Her little sister thought it was hilarious.

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Now, as cool as I think bird feet are, I’m not sure I want to make a giant pot of foot-only broth.  I decided that since they were much larger than chicken feet, I’d wrap them individually in waxed paper and place them in a Ziploc bag.  That way they can be taken out one at a time and added to a pot of regular bone broth when we make it, for added nutrients and gelling.

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This was one of the most awesome kitchen experiments I ever did, and I’ll do it again when we run out of paws.  I didn’t need to be so intimidated after all.  The smell was interesting.  It smelled exactly like boiling wool.  I used to boil wool in order to dye it, for spinning, and I also sold the handdyed rovings on Etsy.  If you’ve ever exhaled into a pure wool scarf on a cold, biting-wind kind of day, and smelled that woolly smell on the inhale, that’s the smell of boiling wool.  And of boiling turkey feet, it turns out.

Shared on Food Renegade’s Fight Back Friday.

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These are one of my favorite lunch items. I make the tuna salad and pack my romaine leaves in a ziplock the night before, so I can just grab my lunch bag and head out the door in the morning. Enjoy!

Tuna Salad Boats

Makes 4 leafy green boats of happiness2013-01-20 14.07.54

INGREDIENTS

  • 4 romaine leaves, washed and dried, thicker stem ends cut off
  • 1 can of tuna, drained and flaked
  • 1 stalk of celery, chopped finely
  • 1 T. dried currants
  • 8-10 crispy almonds, chopped (here’s a recipe for how and why to use soaked and dehydrated nuts)
  • 1/4 c. olive oil mayonnaise, plus or minus, depending on your tastes (here’s a great recipe, with video!)
  • salt and pepper to taste

DIRECTIONS

  1. Combine all ingredients EXCEPT the romaine leaves and mix well.
  2. Fill the romaine leaves with the tuna filling, holding like a soft taco.  Proceed to “mmmmm” and “ahhhhhh” over the devastating, tiny hits of sweet from the currants, the crunch from the celery and almonds, and the silky, savory, and healthy olive oil mayonnaise tying it all together.

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You know, going grain-free/gluten-free has not been hard.  I suppose we were about 90% of the way there since we’d already cut out pastas, crackers, most breads, and all other processed products containing white flour and refined sugar.  The thing that I was leaning on pretty heavily for my kids’ lunches (and my own, as work started intruding on my evenings at home and cutting into making-lunches time the last few months) was sprouted 7-grain bread.  I felt ok about buying it not only because it contained sprouted grains, but also because it is a local company.  But something always niggled at me.  We had cut out so many other easy grab-and-go processed foods, but we still grabbed the sprouted bread on *every* grocery trip.  At the beginning of 2013, almost exactly a year into our whole foods/SOLE foods (Sustainable, Organic, Local, Ethical) diet changes, I finally confronted the ingredients label without my rose-colored glasses.  Can you see the problem?

Ingredients:  Whole sprouted grains of red wheat berries, oat groats, rye berries, barley, corn, rice, millet, wheat flour, water, wildflower light amber honey, vital wheat gluten, yeast, molasses, salt.

If you’re a glammed-up over-processed nuritionally-deficient waist-expanding health-deteriorating junk food, please take one step forward.  Why, hello, “wheat flour”.  Yeah.  ”Wheat flour” or “enriched wheat flour” is plain old white flour, wearing spanky clean pre-frayed jeans and a reproduction vintage T and trying to blend in with the newly-hip crunchy crowd.

After confronting the poser, I sighed and decided to go gluten-free, and while I was at it, grain free.  We’ve been leaning more and more towards paleo anyways so it wasn’t a big leap.  Since cutting out lunch sandwiches, my cheese consumption has gone way down, too, which was about the only dairy product (besides butter) that I was eating with any regularity.  Not that I have anything against dairy.  I have no problem with the occasional glass of milk or dish of yogurt, or a few slices of cheese.  It’s just not part of my daily or even weekly diet right now.  This isn’t rigid adherence to paleo/GAPS/any other prescribed food guidelines.  I am just actively listening to my body’s responses to what I feed it, and gently, respectfully isolating food experiences in order to hear its response more clearly.  The more I do that, the more it tells me exactly how to feed it best.  Right now it’s telling me that dairy is not desired or needed, simple as that.  Maybe it’s a winter thing, or a hormonal thing, or – who knows?  As always, I guess I’ll know more tomorrow.

All that said, here’s the delicious recipe for Almond Flour Biscuits that I used (thank you PaleoinPDX!) and a few pics of our delicious sandwiches.

Almond Flour Biscuits

Makes 12 biscuits

Ingredients2013-01-19 12.56.27

  • 2-1/2 c. blanched almond flour
  • 2 T. coconut flour
  • 3 eggs
  • 1/2 t. baking soda
  • 1/2 t. sea salt
  • 1/4 c. melted ghee, butter or coconut oil (I used coconut oil)
  • 3 T. honey

Directions

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  2. Mix dry ingredients together in large bowl.
  3. Add the eggs, melted ghee and honey. Mix well until all the ingredients are incorporated.
  4. Drop large tablespoons of batter onto a baking sheet lined with parchment paper or a greased baking sheet.
  5. Run a wet hand or spoon over each biscuit to smooth out and flatten a bit.  They get larger in diameter as they bake, but not much higher.
  6. Bake for 12-15 minutes until they’re nicely browned.  I like to bake them for about 12 minutes in a normal oven, then put them on convection for 2 more minutes, to brown them up nicely.  These are better overdone than underdone, so go with your instincts.

When the biscuits are done, make a delicious bacon, tomato, and avocado sandwich using two of the biscuits.  Enjoy!

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This conversation amused me NO END today at work. It was between myself and my good friend B. She has recently started making some wonderful lifestyle changes with her diet that are quite similar to my own, and even more low-sugar than I’ve been able to get so far. She’s cutting out processed foods and researching why fat is so good for us, and sugar so bad.  Go B!

Now, B is a healthy gal. She works out several times a week, and is always joining cardio classes at the Y. If she were to publish an online dating profile, it would say “height/weight proportionate” in the body shape category. I think that’s part of what made this conversation so delicious.

*********************

B: I’m disappointed.

Me: Why’s that?

B:  I’ve only lost 3 lbs.

Me:  How long has it been now?  Two or three weeks?

B:  Two, plus a bit more sort of “prep” time.

Me:  So you must be hungry alot?

B:  No!  I’m actually less hungry than usual!

Me:  So you must be feeling sort of deprived, then?  Not being able to eat sugar and bread and stuff?

B:  Not at all.

Me:  So you’re saying you’re feeling more nourished than you’ve ever felt, and not feeling deprived, and not having to count calories or fat while taking in more calories and fat than you ever have, and you’re still losing weight at a healthy and sustainable 1.5 lbs/week?

B: Well, aren’t you walking on the sunny side of the street today.

Me:  It’s warmer on this side.  What were you expecting?

B:  Well, to lose kind of a lot at the beginning, like on WW!

Me:  Oh, is that the diet you were telling me about where you were starving all the time, and actually asked at a meeting, will I ever NOT be hungry?

B:  Ok, ok, I get it.  Sheesh.

Me:  Heh.

*********************

I’m so proud of you, B.

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Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and what was my local grocery store thinking when they made this cake?  It stopped me cold on my way to the sprouted bread rack, groping blindly for my phone, eyes riveted on this … sub Santa?  It immediately made the top of my WTF Christmas Horrors list.

He looks frightened, like he knows what's coming.

He looks frightened, like he knows what’s coming.

Next up, I made mayonnaise.  I made mayonnaise because I got sick of eating canola-based mayo (or ANY vegetable oil-based mayo because it’s baaaaad for you) and I got sick of waiting for Wilderness Family Naturals to get some of their olive oil mayo back in stock.  I’ve been waiting since summer.  I thought, this is stupid, I make my own cheese, obviously I can make mayo.  So I did.  And it turned out pretty awesome, if I say so myself.  It’s a little thinner than store-bought mayo, but next time I’d just use an extra egg yolk without the white to thicken it up.  I used a mason jar and a stick blender.  I made a double batch, which was a mistake.  I wasn’t sure if my hands were going to die by the thumbs falling off from pressing the blend button, or because they caught on fire from the stick blender motor getting so hot.  Anyways, don’t try to double up this recipe.

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(Many props to Melissa over at The Clothes Make the Girl for the great recipe and tutorial vid!)

I’m going to skip the grain-free experiment for a moment.  And what a moment it is.  I captured this rolling tribute to ghetto fab out in the rolling hills of Rubicon, Wisconsin, a full hour’s drive from ANYWHERE remotely populated or interesting.  The license plate was something close to “MizStarry”.  Like, it’s a “MizStarry” why anyone would pay thousands of dollars extra for this paint job.

And the best part is, you KNOW they paid extra for this color.

So won’t the real Slim Shady please stand up.

Now, for the grain-free bit.  I went grain-free on January 3rd.  It’s more of experiment than anything.  I have some constant allergies that I take an OTC claritin-type pill for daily, and it’d be awfully nice to not have to take it.  My weight loss has plateaud over the last few months so maybe this will help kick-start it.  I’m also reading Wheat Belly, which is very interesting and makes you never want to eat grains ever again.  Even “properly and traditionally prepared grains”.  Anyways, I’ll write more about it when I’m not sick as a dog from a bad case of self-induced low carb flu.  Ugh.  Just shoot me.  I’d better feel like I have Red Bull wings on my freaking feet after this passes.

Finally, I want to thank you, my dear sweet readers, for reading my alternately boring, silly, and profane bloggity blog in 2012.  I hope I can entertain and inform you at *least* as much this year.  I love your comments and encouragement.  To those of you who blog, I am awed by your consistency and effort.  This is quite a community we have here, and I’m just tickled Audi-pink to be included.  Here’s to a wonderful 2013!

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It’s that time of year again when the leaves are turning and the smell of charred factory-farmed animal carcass wafts in great meaty waves through the Northwoods of Wisconsin.  That’s right, Beef-a-Rama 2012.  This was its 48th year, and we went again with our friends Steve and Lisa.

We were walking out of The Christmas Chalet and I saw our shadows. HA!

Everyone say “Moooooo!”

Say “Mooooo!” We get excited when we have a theme.

This is our good “us” picture from the trip.

And then I made him laugh.

And then he made ME laugh.

I went for a walk in the woods and the leaves were breathtaking.

I came across a little Christmas tree, decorated by the towering hardwoods around it.

So I gathered up a big, beautiful handful…

…and arranged them for someone else to find on THEIR walk.

Most of our free time was absorbed in putting together a 1000 piece puzzle. I can’t really explain why, except that it seemed like a good idea at the time.

There was a day trip to the Three Lakes Winery, which would have been pretty fantastic if either a) they gave tours any other day than Monday (we were there on a Friday), or b) I drank. Of course, every winery tour needs a designated driver.

The three amigos.

While they were all tasting wine, I visited the ladies room, which had this fascinating vintage poster. What an awesome idea. It’s OK, Mom, they’re sanitized, and easy to swallow. LOVE. IT.

When we got home, our sweetheart Jessica had evidently organized a welcoming committee.

The next day Jessica had school, but I had the day off, so Abby and I went to a park and ate our lunches. After she played for an hour, we took some silly pictures.

Heh.

All too soon, Abby’s first day of 4K was on Friday. Sniffle.

In the car on the way to school, I could tell she was devastated too. Sigh.

Today, however, we were all together and at the pumpkin farm. They had a really good deal on pumpkins.

Many trips were made. Many pumpkins were gathered.

Did I mention that it was $28/carload day at the pumpkin farm?

With 55 pumpkins, we amortized at around $.50 per pumpkin. It was a STEAL. I’m not sure what we’re going to do with 55 pumpkins, but we have a pretty long driveway. I know Richard also wants to do some vertical pumpkin decorating. Things could get interesting around here in the next few days.

I hope you have a wonderful week.  Please leave a comment if you can think of anything more interesting/productive to do with 55 non-pie pumpkins other than appearing insane to our neighbors.

OMG, it just occurred to me that we are pumpkin hoarders.  Note to self:  Don’t take the SUV to $28/carload day at the pumpkin farm.  Zee pumpkins, zay are eem-possible to re-seest.

Ideas.  Please.  Comment.

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In order to strengthen Queen Hazel’s hive for winter, more bees were needed.  Chris had a nuc that he wanted to take the queen out of for another of his hives before shaking the remainder of the workers into my hive.  Since neither Chris nor I could find the queen in the nuc we were adding bees from, Queen Hazel was removed from her kingdom and imprisoned in a small cage.  I was the one who spotted her, and betrayed her.  How conflicted I felt in that moment.  Do I point to her and betray her position?  Do I pretend to miss her, thereby endangering her life if the new queen overpowers her?  Ultimately, she was stripped of her crown and staff to save her life.  Now a new queen is communicating her presence throughout the hive, while Queen Hazel paces and frets in her cell in a remote corner of yet another queen’s domain.  What has good Queen Hazel done to deserve such treatment?  Who are we, such clumsy and bumbling fools in white suits and veils, to rip away her home and subjects? 

I try to soothe my worried conscience, and my worries for her well-being.  She will be taken to another of Chris’s hives, another kingdom that needs her strong leadership.  She will reign again, and rally new daughters to the skies.  But for now my heart grieves for her, pacing in her prison, and for her abandoned and frantic daughters.  My heart is broken.

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Creamy, dreamy chia pudding, how do I love thee?  Let me count the ways.

  • Dairy-free
  • Gluten-free
  • Don’t have to strain the nut milk
  • Cashews are high in oleic acid, a heart healthy fat (but remember, you can only access the micronutrients of cashews by soaking them!)
  • Raw honey… ohhh, I’m a beekeeper, I’m so biased on this one…
  • Chia seeds have a higher concentration of omega-3 than salmon, and are a great source of calcium, protein, fiber, and potassium

All this, AND it tastes freaking amazing.  Big Ag, kindly take your processed non-food and shove it in your corn hole.

Raw Chia Pudding

Makes 3 1/2 cups

INGREDIENTS

  • 1 c. cashews, soaked and rinsed
  • 2 c. filtered water
  • 2 T. raw honey
  • 2 t. vanilla extract
  • 1/2 t. sea salt
  • 2 t. coconut oil
  • 7 T. chia seeds

DIRECTIONS

  1. Soak the cashews for at least two hours, then rinse thoroughly.
  2. Put all ingredients EXCEPT the chia seeds into a high speed blender.  Blend on high for about a minute, or until the cashew milk is smooth.
  3. Pour the cashew milk into a bowl and stir in about half of the chia seeds, making sure they don’t clump together.  Stir in the rest.  Cover and put in the refrigerator.  Stir after about a half hour, then let sit overnight.
  4. In the morning, say Why, hello, Beautiful! to your sweet and healthy new breakfast.  Or snack.  Or dessert.  Or all three!

Also shared on Food Renegade’s Fight Back Friday.

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